Is a stiff punch to the groin. You heard me right. Sometimes its what you need. You’d never know it, but that’s what I got. It came in the form of chinese unibomber girl. What on earth am I talking about? Let me try and explain…
So this chinese girl comes in yesterday. I’m going to come off saying there are 2 strange things about her visit. First off, %93 or so of customers are regulars. I will often go full days not seeing anyone I hadn’t seen before. She was chinese, between the ages of 18 and 22 and hell bent on driving me insane (by which I mean she said nearly nothing).
It was really busy when she came in, 2 older ladies in front of her ordering large espresso drinks. I was in the corner roasting (on my day off!). I wasn’t exactly dressed for work, by which I mean I was in math is delicious shirt (questionable content, the comic), my homemade SFC hoodie, which I love, corduroys, Doolin chewed sneakers, and really disheveled hair. I jumped off the roaster as soon as I dropped my batch, and ran over to take over the some of the line for Ken. Yes, to be honest, I was rushing to the line so I could serve her in particular, its stupid. Anyway, she was next in line (after waiting for at least some 3 or 4 minutes), so I took her order. Small soy Capp. It wasn’t a double espresso, but it’s almost nearly just as good… Anyway, strange part number 2. She asked if there was she could sit upstairs (which there are like 3 signs saying “Guest waiting area and seating, upstairs”), to which we said “certainly”. She put her cap down, went out the front door, grabbed a copy of the Nashua Hippo (free to take, local paper). She then came in, picked up her capp, and proceeded upstairs. At this point, all I could think was “wow, I would really like to get to know this girl better. I wait a little, before I bring this up to Ken. He says I absolutely need to say something. Well, he half a field day saying I should offer her a second, on the house, since she was taking a while. Plenty of joking ensues. I poke Jamie, and tell her the same thing, to which she says the same things as Ken. My odd method of shyness wins, I say nothing. After 20 minutes pass, I was getting worried. Thoughts of Ms. Su in my head, I decide to check on her. I go upstairs with some paper towels, to clean the tables. I start with cleaning the upstairs bathroom a touch. I can see that shes in there, but she can’t see me. I move into the waiting area, and wipe some tables down. Her eyes never come up from her paper, sitting there sipping on her small soy capp, by now, cold soy latte. I head back down stairs. The hippo is not that interesting, I promise. I mean, really, its not. She is young adult, chinese unibomber. This is, of course, a joke. I was talking with Ken about worst case senario. Whats the worst that could happen? She comes down stairs, I try and introduce myself. She then turns around and says the following. “I did not leave a tip” I tilt my head. “I have a bomb strapped to my chest” My eyes get wide. “Also, your puppy is in the building” I scream, “Nuuuuuuuu!”, and then she blows us all up. Ken agreed that it was probably for the best that I didn’t try talking to her. In all realisicness, I wish I had said something, at least ask if she were new to the area, or just passing through. A great idea would have been to see if she wanted to start a custom cup card (buy any 10 drinks, 11th is on the house, no matter what it is). That way I would have at least been able to see if I might ever see her again. Hope I do, but its not likely.
So, in conclusion, here is to chinese unibomber girl. She will forever be in our hearts and minds.
Also, I finished portal yesterday. It was fantastic. I would highly recomend it to anyone. I got stuck on the last test, because I thought I had to get the green ball into the thing, which I didn’t. Ending was teh awesome. I can not wait for portal 2, and I