Puppies
Sunday, September 30th, 2007
Archive for September, 2007
Puppies
Sunday, September 30th, 2007
Oh No
Saturday, September 29th, 2007
Oh, hells no. The tournament went bad enough to make me want to literally stop fencing. That bad. Pools were a beautiful thing, seeding was a beautiful thing. My first DE was not a beautiful thing. I don’t want to talk about it, I really don’t, so I have no idea why I’m putting this here. I’m working on Alex’s scarf, it should be done midweek, or earlier, depending on how driven I feel, which right now, is not very.
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Oh, hells no. The tournament went bad enough to make me want to literally stop fencing. That bad. Pools were a beautiful thing, seeding was a beautiful thing. My first DE was not a beautiful thing. I don’t want to talk about it, I really don’t, so I have no idea why I’m putting this here. I’m working on Alex’s scarf, it should be done midweek, or earlier, depending on how driven I feel, which right now, is not very.
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Start your morning right
Tuesday, September 18th, 2007
Hey,
So today, I came into work, and everything was like perfect. I assume Cammie closed, as she was on the closing shift. I walked in, and everything was about as close to perfect as you could get. Things were stocked, things were clean. Last night, I had a dream about the Ecuador Cup of Excellence competition. It was most excellent, I remember a bunch of crazy coffee for some reason. Next, I came into work and noticed that the new Ethiopian is washed. Whats that mean? It means delicious…. plain and simple. No, its not lemonade, its coffee XD.
Hey,
So today, I came into work, and everything was like perfect. I assume Cammie closed, as she was on the closing shift. I walked in, and everything was about as close to perfect as you could get. Things were stocked, things were clean. Last night, I had a dream about the Ecuador Cup of Excellence competition. It was most excellent, I remember a bunch of crazy coffee for some reason. Next, I came into work and noticed that the new Ethiopian is washed. Whats that mean? It means delicious…. plain and simple. No, its not lemonade, its coffee XD.
Wii! Sunday, September 16th, 2007
Hey guys
Thursday, September 13th, 2007
About that last post… I came on tonight to delete it, to remove it from existance. Why? I’m feeling a little better. I got the major thing that was bothering me taken care of, so its out of my mind. I’m sleeping better, I’m feeling better. Does this mean my troubles are over? No, thats why I’m not deleting my last post. Do I mean all of what I had said? A lot of it, maybe not all of it. Am I still depressed? A little, very sad about some things certainly.
Anyway, I’m feeling better, and thats a very good thing. Time for bed, sweet dreams.
About that last post… I came on tonight to delete it, to remove it from existance. Why? I’m feeling a little better. I got the major thing that was bothering me taken care of, so its out of my mind. I’m sleeping better, I’m feeling better. Does this mean my troubles are over? No, thats why I’m not deleting my last post. Do I mean all of what I had said? A lot of it, maybe not all of it. Am I still depressed? A little, very sad about some things certainly.
Anyway, I’m feeling better, and thats a very good thing. Time for bed, sweet dreams.
Life
Tuesday, September 11th, 2007
Life, I hear, is easier when you aren’t miserable. Miserable nearly every day about nearly everything. I find myself living day to day thinking that perhaps something will get better. Maybe Therese was right that morning when she said karma would give me that kick I needed. Maybe one of them will start talking to me again. Maybe joining the National training group was a good idea. Maybe something good will happen if I just try hard enough to help it. Maybe I just realized.
Right now, I’m feeling very “cut my losses”. What does this mean? Not a whole lot. I was told that on the other end of the spectrum when there are too many people trying to talk to you its ever worse. Honestly, are you serious? Consider this my protest to that. Having nearly one of my previous friends of the past two years, and fewer of the past 7 years to talk to, I would beg to differ. What have I done thats so wrong? Anita told me that my being down all the time made her not like talking to me. Well, can we call this a vicious cycle? When I have no one to talk to, this makes me feel bad about myself, and that in turn makes people want to talk to me even less. So, now we come back to cutting our losses. If you are one of my old friends who has just stopped talking to me, and I’ve been making attempts to talk to you again, don’t expect to hear from me. Do you hear that? Your free Mei, Susan, Connie, Ilona, Anita, Kim, Ben, Torie, Yi, Avalon, Grace, Mei (yes, again I mention you). Does this mean I hate your or are disowning you? No, not at all. What this means is that I’m no longer taking the effort for thoes who might not do the same. It just seems really stupid, and makes me feel worse about myself. I know how busy you all are, and thats fine. If your too busy to talk to me on your own time though, why would you have the time if I were to go out of my way and try and talk to you? Look, I’m not sure that this is going to make me feel better, it might very well make me feel worse. If it does, then I go back to trying to talk to all of these people who don’t really show any outward desire to talk to me. I just can’t sit here doing nothing, because right now, I’m miserable and only getting worse. This is my attempt to make things a little better. I just don’t want to make that jump from “Cut my losses” to “Move to a new town as far away from here as I can possibly get”.
So, here we go again. I’ll probably update this a little more often. See some of you at fencing. Talk to some of you on aim. I really hope this doesn’t mean never talking to some of you again. I love talking to most of you, but most of you never seem to have the time. If one day you find you have the time, and you care to try and communicate, I’ll be here. Time to see how it goes?
Life, I hear, is easier when you aren’t miserable. Miserable nearly every day about nearly everything. I find myself living day to day thinking that perhaps something will get better. Maybe Therese was right that morning when she said karma would give me that kick I needed. Maybe one of them will start talking to me again. Maybe joining the National training group was a good idea. Maybe something good will happen if I just try hard enough to help it. Maybe I just realized.
Right now, I’m feeling very “cut my losses”. What does this mean? Not a whole lot. I was told that on the other end of the spectrum when there are too many people trying to talk to you its ever worse. Honestly, are you serious? Consider this my protest to that. Having nearly one of my previous friends of the past two years, and fewer of the past 7 years to talk to, I would beg to differ. What have I done thats so wrong? Anita told me that my being down all the time made her not like talking to me. Well, can we call this a vicious cycle? When I have no one to talk to, this makes me feel bad about myself, and that in turn makes people want to talk to me even less. So, now we come back to cutting our losses. If you are one of my old friends who has just stopped talking to me, and I’ve been making attempts to talk to you again, don’t expect to hear from me. Do you hear that? Your free Mei, Susan, Connie, Ilona, Anita, Kim, Ben, Torie, Yi, Avalon, Grace, Mei (yes, again I mention you). Does this mean I hate your or are disowning you? No, not at all. What this means is that I’m no longer taking the effort for thoes who might not do the same. It just seems really stupid, and makes me feel worse about myself. I know how busy you all are, and thats fine. If your too busy to talk to me on your own time though, why would you have the time if I were to go out of my way and try and talk to you? Look, I’m not sure that this is going to make me feel better, it might very well make me feel worse. If it does, then I go back to trying to talk to all of these people who don’t really show any outward desire to talk to me. I just can’t sit here doing nothing, because right now, I’m miserable and only getting worse. This is my attempt to make things a little better. I just don’t want to make that jump from “Cut my losses” to “Move to a new town as far away from here as I can possibly get”.
So, here we go again. I’ll probably update this a little more often. See some of you at fencing. Talk to some of you on aim. I really hope this doesn’t mean never talking to some of you again. I love talking to most of you, but most of you never seem to have the time. If one day you find you have the time, and you care to try and communicate, I’ll be here. Time to see how it goes?
