Mistaken Experience

I was on my way home from what may have been one of my last nights of fencing.  Wednesday is the last night for the season, fencing next season is yet to be seen.  The fireflys we out on the hill, it was quite the sight.  They made me think of a lot of things.  I had a really bad night, a really bad weekend you could say.  I don’t take well to birthdays, less so those that are nice round numbers… like 20.  I wouldn’t say I took it well, at all.  I’m really sorry to everyone at fencing for acting so depressed, it was just a bad feeling.  The fireflys in the field on the hill were fun to look at.  They made me think, who else, but of Victoria.  I’ve talked a lot on here recently, but she is on of my best friends after all.  Shes about as good as they come.  I can’t really help but say that if I don’t fence next season, shes going to be one of the things I will miss the most.

On another bright and cheery note, the fridge is broken.  Can’t afford to replace it right now so we’re using the very old philco until we can sort the other one out.  I’m sorta… depressed, you know, about everything.  We’re painting the house this summer it would seem.  My brother keeps telling me how much I REALLY want this to happen.  Translation of that: Selling the house.  Oh, you have no idea how thrilling that is to me.  Seriously, if you can not sense how wonderfully thrilled I am, then shoot me now (this is all sarcasm).  Seriously, if there is nothing that could make me more depressed, its talking about selling the house.  Whether its in a year or 5 years, I don’t want to hear about it.  I just really don’t want to talk about it.  I really don’t want to talk about school either.  Really really. I just…. ugh, I just really need to go to bed.

Love and best wishes.

So, there once was a young man who decided to shoot arrows at god.  He was initially unsuccessful in his attempts to kill god.  I was happy with the message the art held to me.  I plan on expirimenting with art styles this summer to focus my skill to see if I have any talent at all.  I may not, but I won’t be upset if that is the case.  I plan on turning it into a short story (very short) comprised of 6-10 strips.

VICTORIA BROUGHT ME COOKIES! THEY ARE FANTASTIC!  If anyone can top these fantastic cookies, please send inquiries to my inbox.  I love you all, but I love Victoria more.

I’ll be at the Best of New Hampshire party tomorrow night demoing latte art.  Come visit me!

Very broken.  Broken enough that I feel like apologizing to people who I should.  I need to go to bed soon, I also need to just get this out.  Enjoy my list.

Andrew Galvin, it was middle school, I was a dumbass.  That was a weird party… mostly my fault.  As long as I knew you, you we’re one of the more decent guys.  If it had to be anyone, you would have been the best I think.

Avalon, just because…  I’m sure theres a lot of reasons.  It doesn’t mean I’m not still a little bitter about you not asking me how I was doing once in 3 years, but we haven’t spoken in over a year, maybe I should amend that.

David, well, I regret what I did, thats all.

Anita, I really sorta ruined everything we had.  I mean, I just wanted too badly for things to go the way I wanted them to go.  I cherish you as a friend and as a person.  I still love you, and miss our long talks.  If you ever need to talk or anything, I’m right here for you.

Aaron, I was trying to prove a point, erm, to myself.  Fact of the matter is, I’m just a little bitter.  Its not your fault, and I don’t want to talk about it right now.  Its just me being me, try and ignore it.

Connie, I’m not terribly certain exactly what I did, but I certainly feel like you may be a little angry with me.  If you are, I understand, but I would rather talk about it than let it go the way its been going.  I mean, we haven’t had an honest to goodness conversation in 3 months.  I’m not asking you to forgive me, I’m asking you to help me understand.  Dui bu qi.

Ilona, for anything I did that upset you before.  I know things were awkward for a while, and I’m glad we’re past that.  Your a good friend, and will always be special to me.

Mimi, for not treating you as my best friend.  You are.

John, for bugging you will all that crap.

Victoria, yeah, I’m sorry.  It probably doesn’t make any sense that I would be sorry, but I am.  I don’t really want to talk about it right now, but I’m still sorry.
Everyone else, I don’t know what I did, but I’m sorry if I did something to offend you.  So here I am, a broken egg, leaking onto the proverbial table.  I’m not fried, but the sun in shining.

Oh yes, I’m feeling rather terrible right now. My birthday is next week, I don’t want to talk about it. On another note, New Boston should be open for the 4th, I’m excited for it. Yay for only sundays off! Seriously though, I wonder if today was make up for lost sleep this week, as I certainly haven’t gotten much to any this week. Today was like 16-18 hours in bed. I’m going paint balling tomorrow with Nathan. We’ll see how that goes. *sigh* Its been one of thoes weeks, the kind where you just aren’t sure what your supposed to think. I’m sure you know exactly what I’m talking about. I think I need to get some sleep soon. God, I’ll be 20 next week. I have nothing to show for 20 years of existence, nothing.

No one else can make me feel the colors that you bring.

Loving you has made my life so beautiful.

Ni yi bu zai, wo jiu hen ji mo.

Not just any Socks. Thats right, you know who you are Seriously, your the only one I’m still allowed to hug. Is it just me, or were people a little funky tonight? Anyway, luv you forever Socks, you’ll always be my best buddy. Honestly, I could go on and on about how super AWESOME you are, but I wont (for both our sakes ^^”). I’ll tell you what you agreed to next time I catch you in the right state of mind for it *talks in his sleep about how Socks rocks my socks*

I love myself too! (fur Ashers)